Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Handling My Parents' Finances


My taking over my parents’ finances has been a gradual progression. My mom has always handled everything, so although my dad has had dementia for several years, that initially had no impact on me.  However, when macular degeneration made it difficult for Mom to balance her checkbook, pay bills and gather information for the accountant at tax time,  I took over those tasks.  Still, these were easy tasks, and really required only my time….no decision making.  In recent months, my mom’s mental condition has deteriorated, and she essentially asked me to handle all of their finances.  This included deciding how to invest the proceeds from the sale of their house, doing everything that was required for my dad to start receiving VA benefits, setting up a new trust, and changing power of attorney from my brother to me.  I made the decision to hire an elder law attorney to be certain that everything was done correctly.  That was quite expensive, and I did lose a bit of sleep over spending their money on something that may not have been necessary. 

I picked the assisted living community they are now in, based mostly on the physical features of their apartment.  I realize now that I should have done more research because there are some issues there.  I wonder if I could have found some place that was better, and less expensive. They are both in their 90’s and I know that moving them at this stage would be very traumatic for them, so they will stay there and I’ll do what I can to handle the problems I see there by regular communication with the director.  Another worry to interfere with a good night’s sleep.

I have made an appointment with a financial planner to discuss their investments. Once again I know I will be making a decision on their behalf, and I find that to be much more challenging than deciding what to do with my own money. 

My mom tells me almost every time I see her and she doesn’t know what they would do without me, and they totally trust me to handle EVERYTHING.  I appreciate her trust, but I wish I had her confidence in all of the decisions I have made on their behalf. 

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Getting to get ready to get ready....

I have always been interested in personality types. I love studying people and trying to figure out what makes them tick.  Only after I became a Realtor with Keller Williams did I go to the effort to find out what makes me tick!  It was very revealing to see the results of my DISC assessment and learn that I am clearly a "C".  Put simply, that means that I am careful, analytical, precise, conscientious...and I get bogged down in details.  I fear criticism. I prefer not to verbalize my feelings.

Starting a blog, therefore, has been a challenge to me.

Put my feelings out there for anyone to see??? No way!
Design the blog without much technical expertise?  What if it doesn't look good??
Talk about my experiences, share my opinions, develop online relationships with people I don't know???  Yikes!

But, EVERYONE says I need to do this.....so here I go.

I am a baby boomer. Like many boomers, I'm dealing with elderly parents, and am concerned about my adult children as they move forward in this scary world. The "sandwich generation."  I don't have a lot to offer in regard to the adult children part, but the past few years have taught me A LOT about the elderly.  Because of experiences I have had with my parents, Tom and I determined a few years ago that we would like to expand the seniors division of our real estate business.  I'll probably write more about that later on, but for now, just understand that the focus of this blog will be sharing knowledge, ideas, concerns, and frustrations.  The hope is that I can teach what I have learned, and that I will find others who can teach me.